Thursday, July 19, 2012

Lamaze Class Reunion

Our lamaze class had a reunion. Missy, the instructor, is the spitting image of Jane Lynch and has a football coach's approach to lamaze. During class she would get us to practice our breathing and then start yelling "A CONTRACTION IS 90 SECONDS LONG. YOU CAN DO ANYTHING FOR 90 SECONDS!!!" "SQUAT! DO IT! GET THOSE KNEES UP! PARTNERS, MAMA NEEDS HELP WITH HER KNEES SO SHE CAN PUUUUUUUSSSSHHHHH!!!"

Despite the yelling, the whole class came back for the reunion. We last saw each other back in April when we were seven very pregnant ladies and seven supportive partners. And now there are seven more people in the world. Seven new little souls. When I walked in the door with TJ, Missy yelled "YOU DID IT!!!" so loudly it startled TJ awake. He and all the other little ones ate, pooped and cried while we exhausted parents shared our birth stories. The prize for the most dramatic delivery went to the couple who had an intern try nine times to insert the epidural causing the doula to faint and have to be taken to the emergency room.

The most amazing thing was to see how the little ones reflected their parents personalities and demeanor. The high strung couple's baby cried a lot, the laid back lesbian couple had the most laid back little dude, the daughter of a librarian and a teacher was quiet, alert and observing everything. Nature or nurture? If TJ reflects us already, I'm too close to see it. Oh wait...he just spent fifteen minutes going cross-eyed from staring at his own hand. Yep, he's definitely part of this family.

Lamaze class reunion:

Here's a recent photo of TJ caught in a non cross-eyed moment:






Sunday, July 1, 2012

Commercial FAIL

Have you seen this commercial for International Delight?
International Delight Coffeehouse

Go ahead. Watch it. I'll wait.


Welcome back.

I've never used International Delight and I'm not usually one to rant. This commercial, however, drives me insane because it assumes that we viewers are stupid. And they have apparently paid for it to air constantly on my television so I'll go ahead and badtalk their commercial.

They suggest we should buy their iced coffee to drink at home because it's too difficult to venture out into crazy unpredictable public spaces where there might be doors that attack us. Wild coffeehouses with doors that are usually found only in grocery stores. These doors also seem programmed to close on people. And if we were to come in contact with these doors out there in the lunatic coffeehouse world, we would be just like the people in the commercial who seem unaware that it takes a modicum common sense to enter and exit a building. So, yes, by all means America, believe them when they tell you that attempting to leave your house is treacherous. Even the simple idea to pick up morning coffee would be bonkers. Stay home. Buy their highly processed drink.

Although...wait a second. Wouldn't you have to go to a grocery store to buy International Delight? Hmmmm...I wonder what kind of doors you will have to navigate there? Godspeed everyone. May the force be with you in the war against mechanized entryways. Here's hoping we all survive to buy another cup 'o joe.

If you have time to kill:
10 Very Funny Commercials


People who haven't done commercials, don't appreciate how hard it is. 
- Justin Long