INT. DUANE READE IN HELLS KITCHEN, MANHATTAN - DAY
The young, bright eyed quirky GIRL steps up to the cash register and hands the CASHIER a box of headshot envelopes and mailing labels.
CASHIER
Do you have your club card?
GIRL
What’s a club card?
CASHIER
A Duane Reade club card.
GIRL
I don’t know what that is. I just moved here. To New York City.
The cashier gives the girl a blank stare.
GIRL (CONT’D)
I’m going to be an actress.
More blank staring.
GIRL (CONT’D)
Well...can I get these things without a club card?
CASHIER
That’s $14.87.
Ok. I didn’t really tell the cashier that I was going to be
an actress. I did, however, figure that I would be frequenting this store they
call Duane Reade. But why would the guy not ask me if I wanted a card? Did Duane Reade corporate headquarters really pass down the rule that all cashiers ask if customers have a club card without suggesting that there could be a follow up question if the customer said "no?" I like to support good marketing and customer service so I vowed then and there that if any employee ever actually offered me a card instead of
just asking if I already had one, I would certainly take Duane Reade up on
benefitting from their club card program. If they couldn't take the extra step to tell me how to get one, why should I? I don't need your stinking club card!
Cut to...eight years later...
INT. DUANE READE IN DITMAS PARK, BROOKLYN - DAY
The frazzled new MOTHER juggles pushing a stroller up to the cash register while handing a box of newborn diapers and a pint of Haagen Dazs to the CASHIER.
CASHIER
You have your club card?
MOTHER
No.
CASHIER
You want one?
MOTHER
What?
The mother looks up. Stunned. The cashier reaches for a club card brochure.
CASHIER
It’s a rewards program. You can fill this out to get one.
MOTHER
I know what it is. I’ve been waiting eight years to be offered a club card!
The cashier gives the mother a blank stare.
MOTHER (CONT’D)
This is a really big moment--
The BABY in the stroller starts crying. The mother hesitates.
MOTHER (CONT’D)
(motioning to stroller)
I have to get him home...I guess Duane Reade missed the window.
More blank staring...but then...
CASHIER
Take it with you. Bring it back anytime.
The cashier gave the mother the club card discount anyway. She took the application and thanked him as she pushes her crying baby out of the store.
Why did it take EIGHT YEARS for me to cross paths with a nice Duane Reade cashier? Is it me? Do I finally look worthy? Did Duane Reade corporate headquarters train their cashiers to offer cards only to those who look frazzled and desperate? Was it the spit-up on my shirt that sealed the deal? Or the way I didn't brush my hair? Well, I'll take the sympathy points my crying baby got me and I promise to cherish my sacred club card.
"It is not the employer who pays the wages. Employers only handle the money. It is the customer who pays the wages."
-Henry Ford
-Henry Ford
